Last things...

I turned 63 this month. My father and maternal Grandfather died in their early 50's. My paternal Grandfather died in his early 70's. I "died" a couple of times already in 2006 (Type 3 heart block, it will cost you a cup of coffee to hear my "death" experience. It would be worth your time to look it up) which gives me a special appreciation for every day I wake up. I keep a copy of the "flatline" on my wall as a reminder. If it weren't for modern technology and a nearby hospital, I would not be here. Simply put, I'm lucky to be alive.

So, I've noticed that I subliminally think of things in terms of "last things". Is this my "last car", my "last trip", my "last dog", my "last home". Just a few years ago, I thought about "what's next". Now, I think in terms of, "what's left". My experience helped me sort out my friends (I owe Boris a cup of coffee).

The fact that I've "died" a couple of times changed my attitude. I value every day, every pleasure, every sunrise, every moment with my family. I was always interested in philosophy. I new view the subject with a special interest exploring what people believe and, more important, why. I am comfortable with my personal explanation of the world and our "reason to be"; however, I am constantly looking for refinements to my understanding. I also find that I pay more attention to the obituaries. I went through a period in my youth when I lost a number of friends who were way too young to die. Now, I "do the math" in my head" when I read the obituaries particularly noting people who around the same age as I am.

Frankly, the fact that I've already "died" a couple of times has made me "fearless". I am fortunate that I have nothing to risk when taking a position on issues. I'm not running for anything and don't plan to. I don't need a job and am not looking for one. I lack the requirement of pleasing anyone for any reason except my wife and my family. I am very particular with whom I chose to call friend because I wish to associate with people whom I may depend upon and who may depend upon me. I'm armed to go the distance for things I believe in.

I wonder if this might be my last post? I think not. I probably have a few years of posts left in me; however, I am aware that there will be a "last post"... and I will die... again.